A Refresher On Wedding Etiquette

Dream Wedding

Wedding etiquette never goes out of style but it does change over the years. Here are some of the most common questions that we get asked about wedding etiquette.

Who should we notify first about our engagement? In these days when social media rules the world, your first inclination may be to post your new status on Facebook or Tweet about it. Please hold off until you’ve personally notified your family and close friends. Then, broadcast to the world.

If I’m a guest at a wedding, can I wear white? You can wear white as long as your dress doesn’t look bridal, but why would you do anything that could compete with the bride in any way? Save the white dress for any other occasion but a wedding.

Does my father have to walk me down the aisle? No, the bride can choose who walks her down the aisle and it can be anyone who plays a very significant role in her life – mother, brother, sister, stepparent, godparent… Give careful consideration to this decision and speak to the people who may be impacted by your choice.

Can I back out of being a bridesmaid? If dire circumstances have arisen – family emergency or sickness – then of course you have no choice but to back out and hopefully the bride will understand. If you’ve just changed your mind because you don’t want to spend the money or you’re not getting along with the bride for any reason, it’s really not acceptable to cancel.

Everyone has a smartphone these days. Is it acceptable for guests to take photos during the wedding and upload them to social media sites? These are actually 2 very different questions. No one would object to you taking photos. However, uploading them to social media sites is an entirely other issue and you should ask permission from the couple before uploading any photos to social media sites.

How much should I spend on a wedding gift? Someone told me that I had to cover the cost of my meal and then add more money for a gift. Is that true? What you ultimately decide to spend on a wedding gift is entirely a personal choice and you are not required to cover the cost of your meal and then add more money for a gift. Never give more than you can afford. Being a wedding guest should not be a financial hardship. If you can’t afford anything on the wedding registry, then go off the registry.

Is it proper to register for gifts if I’ve been married before? Absolutely; it doesn’t matter how many times you’ve been married. If you’re uncomfortable with the idea of receiving gifts, you can state that you do not want gifts on the invitation. One of my friends asked that the guests make a charitable donation in lieu of gifts.

How long do I have to send out thank you notes? A thank you on social media sites doesn’t cut it. A real honest to goodness thank you note is the only appropriate thing, even in this digital world. Thank you notes should be sent out as soon as possible, but definitely within a 3 month time frame. And please try to write something personal to each person that gave you a gift.


For more information on all things wedding related and to book your wedding, contact the Toronto Wedding Chapel today.